Favorite Comment Spam & New Tagline for My Life

11/02/11 8:00 AM

Anyone who runs a blog knows about comment spam. The sheer amount I get would catapult this blog into the OMG Best. Blog. Ever. category, if that were the parameters that determined popularity.

I actually don’t understand how spam works. I mean, is it all automated, or is some of it manually posted by real human beings? And if the latter, I’ll say this: I promise never to complain about my life again, because if someone is forced to write things like “Barabara [sic] Bush has always been fairly liberal, so too her twin sister and the mother. Georgie must feel really isolated in that house!” in my post on how to make the most out of your Facebook page, well, suddenly even the most mundane part of my life doesn’t seem so bad.

That said, I do have a FAVORITE spam comment of all time that shows up in various forms on a weekly basis, and I bet anyone who runs a blog has gotten one of said forms. It goes like this: Blah boink what is this Poop heh.

Seriously, say that line out loud. In different accents. Like the guy from the Chinese food take out place or like Gretchen, the German housekeeper from the TV show Benson (gawd, I’m dating myself here…not sure why THAT just popped into my head). But, seriously. Say it out loud right now. It’s honestly the best. Line. Ever.

Sometimes the spammer will revise it (hey, writing is all about rewriting, so props to said spammer) to this: Blah what what is this Poop hah.

Or this: Blah what what is this Poop wut.

But my favorite is still the first version, probably because it has the word boink in it, which is another great word that I don’t use often enough in daily conversation. But now, omg, NOW. When I get mad or I’m hyper or I want to torture the cat or a copywriting client sends me edits I disagree with, I march around my studio apartment saying the line out loud: Blah boink what is this Poop heh.

And it feels so freakin’ good.

I want to be  cremated and scattered after I leave this world, but if I were to be buried, I’d want that line on my tombstone. Seems fitting, don’t ya think?

Bloggers, do you have any favorite spam comments? Or am I just weird? I’m not weird, right?


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Posted by Robyn | in Blogging | 14 Comments »

14 Comments on “Favorite Comment Spam & New Tagline for My Life”

  1. Phil Says:

    Hilarious post, Robyn! That would be just about the best gravestone memorial ever. People would stop and stare and scratch their heads then wander away, muttering that line beneath their breaths, unable to stop. You’d be the first dead person to go viral, ever.

    I actually don’t get spam on my blog. Lucky me? Looks like I’m missing out on fun times.

  2. Robyn Says:

    Thanks, Phil! My awesome web dudes added the CAPTCHA thingy to the blog that people need to fill out the first time they leave a comment, which has cut down on a lot of the spam. However, “Blah boink what is this Poop heh” will forever be my favorite. 🙂

  3. Laura Matthews Says:

    You’re bringing up a memory… the first time I heard the word boink was in the TV show “Blue Moon,” when Bruce Willis used the word to ask Cybill Shepherd about her prior evening, and she replied, “I can’t believe I’m working with a man who refers to the act of love as ‘boinking.'”

  4. Laura Matthews Says:

    Wait, that’s not the name of the show, it was “Moonlighting.” Talk about dating myself.

  5. Robyn Says:

    I loved Moonlighting (Bruce Willis had hair!), and I remember that episode! Ha!

  6. Mike Says:

    I haven’t had any comment spam yet and I’m happy for that.

  7. Robyn Says:

    Mike, I’m jealous! Maybe I’m just lucky. Or maybe it’s really not spam and someone is trying to tell me my writing is Poop. 🙂

  8. Steve T Says:

    I once had one that said “watch what happens when two drunk (expletive)s stagger into the VIP room.” I almost clicked on the link (who wouldn’t?), but fear of a crashed hard drive due to porn site overload saved me.

  9. Margo Says:

    I’m glad you can be so gracious about your blog spam. That’s so odd, because I don’t get ANY. I used to get some after I posted a review on the Magic Thief by Sarah Prineas; for a while that post would get some one spamming cheap drugs at least once or twice a week. Only that post. Weird! I actually perused the wording of that post in great detail, trying to figure out how it was attracting drug traffic!

    But that sure is a funny spam line. What in the world could the purpose of it be?

  10. Robyn Says:

    I think I was getting inundated because anyone could leave a comment — I only recently got the CAPTCHA word verification thingy. And that IS weird that you got spam on that one post. Hmm. Maybe spammers have the answers to everything and we just don’t know it. 🙂

  11. Ghenet Says:

    That is HILARIOUS! I’m chuckling to myself right now. I luckily don’t get any spam, even though I de-activated the word verification on my blog. I’m sure the spam-bots will find me eventually. Maybe they’ll share some entertaining phrases too. 🙂

  12. Robyn Says:

    Definitely let me know, Ghenet, if you start getting some wacky spam comments. (I’m starting to wonder if the spam gods are targeting me, specifically. Muahahahaha!)

  13. Susan W Says:

    Comment spam seems to be getting worse lately. Sigh. it’s good that you can laugh at it.

  14. Robyn Says:

    @Susan It’s decreased big time for me ever since I had the CAPTCHA installed